i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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