oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
