i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize