hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
