Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize