could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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