I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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