There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
