i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
