dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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