Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
