I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
