He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
