you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
this boner is exhausting
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my poor anus
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
