found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize