a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize