that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
