just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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