No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
