she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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