Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
