is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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