I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
