I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
