I need help removing her.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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