just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
