you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
