I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
