when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
