Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
