I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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