idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
