Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
