Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
