is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
