Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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