So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
