Heybabeimwearingurpanties
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
