If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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