That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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