I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
