What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
