Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
