dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
