My friends, they love my intelligence
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize