you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
