oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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