My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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