he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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