I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
