I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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