Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My life is pants optional.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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