Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
