so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
