I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
