I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
