belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
