I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
