i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
