i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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