I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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