this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
