Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize