no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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