dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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