Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize